The Beast Within
by Convoitise
Summary: The war is over and things should be settling into normal now, or so Harry Potter thinks. Everything is far from normal though and Harry must fight with the beast within himself and its needs, the biggest need being Draco Malfoy.


**Title:** The Beast Within

**Author:** Convoitise

**Beta:** None Yet

**Rating:** M

**Pairings:** HP/DM, RW/HG, ( brief HP/GW )

**Warnings:** SLASH, Consent Issues, Sex, M-Preg, Violence, Angst

**Setting:** All books did happen, this is after DH once Voldemort is killed.

**Disclaimer:** I DO NOT own Harry Potter or any of the familiar/known characters. JK Rowling owns them no matter how much I beg.

**Summary:** The war is over and things should be settling into normal now, or so Harry Potter thinks. Everything is far from normal though and Harry must fight with the beast within himself and its needs. Draco Malfoy is top of the beast's list of needs but he's not exactly one to give in. HP/DM

**Authors Note(s):** Okay so this was a one shot, that I read over recently and realized could develop into a pretty decent story I think. The italic is the one shot part for anyone interested, the part that comes after has been changed to make this more into a chaptered story. I have a rough timeline for how long this will be and I'm expecting it to end up being quite long so if you can hang in here with me you might enjoy it. Current plan is to have an update for you every Friday, I've already got the first few chapters worked up in a rough-draft and I try to keep ahead of myself so even if RL interrupts I can still get new chapters out to you on time.

I am in fact looking for a beta to help me out here so if anyone would like to offer up their services I would really appreciate it. Just send me a message through the site here or post it in a review and I will be grateful for your help.

REVIEWS are something that lets the author (that's me) know that the readers (that's you) want more of the story, enjoy the story, or tells them what they think could be improved within the story or writing process. Constructive criticism is welcomed, flames or just people being downright mean are not. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

_He had to find him, had to get to him before it was too late…_

_Running through the halls of Hogwarts Harry Potter didn't notice the battle going on around him, the fight to the death for the final time. His thoughts were on one thing only and that was getting to the boy…no man who'd been on his thoughts. He didn't remember how he got there, why he wasn't fighting with everyone else. A flash of blond ahead around a corner, his thoughts were ripped once more from the fight as he took off after the person knowing all too well who it would be he caught up with. It was who he was here to find, the person he needed to get to if he wanted to make things right, fix his own life and sort out the beast in his mind craving to find him, needing to hold him._

_The thought stopped him short, hold? Why would he need to hold him? They were enemies, sworn to fight and hate forever and not to want to hold each other. Pressing a hand to his chest he gasped for breath, no…this wasn't right. He shouldn't feel this way, not toward him. The beast reared up inside him, frustrated as he fought against what it wanted, what it knew it needed to have. Nothing could be right while everything was wrong and the hate, anger, fighting…those were all wrong according to the beast. He had no name for it other than beast, what else could possibly make him feel this way when it made no sense? He needed to control it instead of letting it control him; he needed to fight and tried turning back to the battle going on around him. It was no use, the beast within was too strong and he found himself again moving toward where he'd last seen the focus of his true attention._

_The need deep inside of him was pulling him away from the fight, from those battling for the lives of friends, family, lovers, and the wizarding world as a whole. He couldn't fight this but maybe…maybe if he gave in he'd find his answer as to why then maybe he'd be free to get back to what he was meant to be doing right now. That thought on his mind he let his feet go where they would, let himself follow the invisible thread attached to his heart as he went deeper and deeper into the castle. The hallways were dark, covered in traces of the battle going on around him. He didn't notice, didn't feel his feet slip in the pooling blood as he began to run._

_There ahead of him was the object of his desire, the answer to the deep need inside of him and the beast took over. He couldn't hold it back anymore, couldn't control it. The room was empty and the sounds of the fight taking place right outside the now closed doors was dulled, nearly impossible to hear unless he focused which he wasn't. He felt helpless as he ran forward toward the person, toward the unknown answer to the most important question. Why? Why now? Why here? Why him? The answers were about to become clear, he could tell…he could feel it in the very core of himself. Slowing as he reached the man he reached out to grab his shoulder turning him around. _

_Draco Malfoy, the boy whose friendship he'd rejected and the man who'd grown with him as they'd chosen between the two sides of a deadly coin. In Malfoy he could sense the anger, hate, and hurt that had come from years of fighting each other and giving in to the urge to hate. His cold silver eyes met Harry's own vibrant green in an unspoken battle, the hate passed back and forth even without words to back it. Then it changed, the coin flipped and the beast growled within him lashing out to claim what it felt was its own. Lips met in a desperate plea, neither gentle nor patient. Harry's arms wrapped around Draco pulling him closer as the beast within purred in contentment at finally having what it wanted, finally getting it's need fulfilled. _

_No words were exchanged as clothes were tugged, pulled, ripped, and thrown away while desperate kisses were passed between them. Years of hating and fighting were broken down by the kisses and touches that expressed true feelings well hidden from themselves and the rest of the world. No it wasn't love, not yet, but it would be if given the time to be found and to grow. They needed this, the connection that would begin that spiral toward what was so right. They'd been blind not to see this before, their hate had stopped them from seeing the great love and possibility of what would come…no that wasn't right. There was something else, another wall between them that they couldn't get past. The beast within Harry growled at the thoughts of this, it's great power and anger rising before falling again pushed back by the feeling of its match pressed skin to skin against Harry. _

_Labored breaths and the sounds of skin against skin were all they could hear now, the fight washed away by the passion shared between them. Soft moans and whispered words of encouragement came next, the sounds subtle but still sounding like a shout against the softness of the other sounds. Their eyes met again, emerald eyes meeting a new set of eyes, the same as the last but very different, molten silver now instead of cold grey. Their skin was on fire as they pushed each other, each trying to make the other give more, take more, feel more. A cry slipping from Draco's lips swallowed by Harry's kiss as he claimed the blond as his own, the beast letting loose a great roar from within him at finally having what it wanted, taking for its self what it needed to live. _

_The sounds of their need and want filled the room, growing louder as they pushed each other harder, faster. With a final cry shared by both they reached their peak and began the slide back down, bodies wrapped around each other holding tight still and each not willing to let go their grip on on the other. The moment was too right, too perfect for it to be real, and Harry knew it but still he didn't want to let go or give it up._

"This is a dream isn't it Draco?" he asked, his voice soft in the silence of the room as if not to disturb it. The nod he got from his blond lover had him closing his eyes as he felt the sorrow at knowing he would lose this when he opened his eyes pass through him. Feeling fingers in his hair he lent into the soft touch and opened his eyes again to meet Draco's seeing the need in the silver eyes that matched his own.

"_It is a dream, but when you wake nothing will be the same Harry. Through death you've been unlocked and set free, you will find me again and we will make this a reality instead of a dream." were the soft words in answer to the question he'd asked and the one in his eyes he'd left unsaid. A frown formed on kiss bruised lips as he thought about those words trying to sort out the possible meaning and why here and now it was said. _

"_I don't understand." he whispered softly and was quieted with a tender kiss though the words hung heavy in the air. He could feel a pulling in his mind, he fought it and the beast within him joined the struggle wanting to stay in this dream world where things seemed so much easier and warmer than reality. "Please Draco I don't understand what do you mean?" he whispered against the soft lips of his lover as the pull grew stronger._

_Looking up at Draco he watched the blonds lips move speaking to him though he couldn't make out the words, a buzzing had started in his ears and no matter how he tried he couldn't make it end to hear what was said to him. "Draco I…"_

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><p>Emerald eyes opened and Harry Potter sat up with a start a gasp ripped from his throat as he stared into the darkness. His skin was covered in a layer of sweat and his breathing was labored. He tried to remember what it was he'd been dreaming about that had left him in such a state as he realized it was not only sweat against his skin in some cases and…his lips hurt. Reaching a hand to touch them lightly he jumped as someone stirred on the bed next to him reaching out to touch his arm in the dark. "Harry?" the voice came, not the smooth tones of the man in his dreams but a woman, Ginny.<p>

Pulling away from her touch he reached for his wand muttering a spell and letting his eyes adjust to the dim light now filling the room. He caught his breath and reached to rub his eyes as if a headache were plaguing him though there wasn't one, just too many thoughts all of them not making sense. Lowering his hand he rubbed it over his chest, above his still quickly beating heart where it ached for something more…something different. The beast within him was still, but he could still feel it there and with a rush the dream came back to him. The final battle, following Draco Malfoy to a deserted room, the way their hate quickly shifted as they kissed and made love taking from each other what was willingly given…the words Draco spoke to him.

"This…I can't do this Ginny." He said softly as his mind gave him an answer that had been brewing since the dreams began over a month ago. They'd started when the battle had been won and Voldemort was announced dead. The wizarding world had been celebrating the death of a dark wizard at the hands of their greatest hope for the light, and he'd been plagued with what he thought were nightmares but was starting to doubt that idea. He could feel the beast when awake now instead of only in his dreams and it urged him to do it's bidding, give in and go find what it desperately craved.

"Harry what are you talking about?" the redheaded woman asked and he turned to meet her eyes seeing the curiosity and the fear she couldn't hide. He knew she had to have noticed, they were engaged and to start it was wonderful…but now? He couldn't keep acting anymore or pretending it would all work out. He shook his head as she reached to touch him again and slipped out of the bed casting a quick cleaning charm on himself before he began moving around to clear his head and pack his belongings. "Harry you can't mean…Please come back to bed. If you've had another nightmare we can talk about it and maybe find a way to stop them. We could ask Hermione if she knows a way to keep them from waking you up like this." she tried in vain and he hung his head as her words were an offer of help, a plead for him to stay.

"It's not nightmares Ginny, it's something more and it's…I can't do that to you. I won't lead you along while this is growing more and more clear within me and ripping me apart from you. You deserve better than that." he said softly to her and moved over to the bed reaching out to touch her cheek as a tear slipped from her eye. "I'm sorry Ginny, I wanted to love you…I want to be able to love you as you deserve but I just can't." he said softly trying to comfort her and knowing it was useless. Her quick nod was the only answer he'd get to whether she understood him or not and he lent to kiss her forehead before gathering the rest of his things. "I need to sort out my head, find out what is going on and until then I can't risk hurting you this way. If you need me you know I will always be here for you but right now I can't be what you need me to be." He explained further, her tears making him feel horrible.

She wouldn't say another word to him and he knew it though he waited a few moments just to be there if she chose to speak. Taking the sign clearly given by her turning his back to him as she covered her face when more tears fell he slipped out of the room he shared with her in a small flat in Hogsmeade and into the night. Glancing toward the path that lead the way to the castle he called home, he tried to decide his next step and went with logic instead of the beast's urging. He couldn't trust the beast to lead him right now, it wouldn't end well and he needed to sort out what was going on before he gave in to that urge. Turning he began the walk to the castle of Hogwarts, he was always welcomed within the school's halls and Hermione taught there as did Ron. The knowledge that if anyone could help him sort this out it would be his two best friends guided his steps through the familiar path toward the school grounds. The knowledge that he would once again be relying on two people who deserved to live their own lives and not have to bother saving his ass all the time settled heavily on his heart.

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><p>Please Review.<p> 


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